


Misconceptions

by round_robin



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: 5+1 Things, Bear School (The Witcher), Cat School (The Witcher), Crack Treated Seriously, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cutagens | Cute Effects of Mutagens (The Witcher), Griffin School (The Witcher), Licking, M/M, Manticore School (The Witcher), Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Scent Kink, Viper School (The Witcher), Wolf School (The Witcher), mutations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27815401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/round_robin/pseuds/round_robin
Summary: Or: Five Times No One Told the Cats How Mutations Work, and One Time It Was Weirder Than Even They Thought
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Gaetan/Letho z Gulety | Letho of Gulet
Comments: 98
Kudos: 427
Collections: Vipurr: A Collection of Cat and Snake in Love (or just Murder Husbands)





	Misconceptions

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, this fic was a little hard to tag, just the School of the Cat being a little dumb (but helpful) when it comes to the mutations of other schools.
> 
> In the ever growing cuteagens (cute mutagens) head canon I'm constructing, I got the idea that since School of the Cat knows their mutations are fucking weird, they assume everyone else's are too, and are a little confused when the others don't behave like the animal their school is named for. This is real dumb and real cute, in that order. Mostly Lambert/Aiden and Gaetan/Letho in this, though the Eskel/Geralt/Jaskier is mentioned at the end.
> 
> Like I said, this is dumb, but it made me smile while I was writing it and I hope everyone enjoys <3

1\. School of the Bear

There were misconceptions about all the Witcher schools. Ever since the Order of Witchers splintered, they weren't exactly encouraged to bond or be all touchy feely with one another, which suited most schools just fine. And when the mutations got more _complicated_ , they became further entrenched in their own little worlds, rarely sharing information short of “this town is shit, stay clear.” But Witchers were still people (despite what most humans seemed to think) and friendships grew, they learned to... accept each other.

Except the School of the Cat, every other Witcher left them the fuck alone.

Their mutations were the most volatile, the most unpredictable. Sure, Cats were fun to hang around, a good laugh because they actually knew how to tell jokes better than the Witchers who had to go searching for their sense of humor under layers of repression, but the risk of getting your head torn off was not worth the reward of their company for most Witchers. There were a few exceptions over the years, a few people with more heart than sense. It was fine, they didn't need anyone else, their dysfunctional family was more than good enough for anyone who wore a Cat medallion around their neck.

When an injured Bear fell across their path (literally, he rolled down a hill, slumping at their feet) they chased away the bandits he was running from before falling into discussion. Most of the elders (Treyse, it was Treyse) wanted to send him packing the moment he woke up... Until Aiden reminded them of one fucking important detail.

“We know what it's like not having a home. You really want to turn another Witcher away? He can stay one night, it won't kill us.”

“Hmm, fine. Still gotta wait for him to wake up, then we'll see,” Treyse grumbled.

Though the Bear was a huge fucker (well deserving of his school's name) they made camp and managed to move him in front of the fire, patching his injuries as best as they could. Bandits were no match for a Witcher on a good day, but this looked like a very bad day for the Bear indeed. He was hungry too, they could tell. Cats were lithe, smaller than most Witchers, but the dark circles of hunger were well known to all of them.

“Bears like fish, right?” Lexandre asked. “Should we catch him a fish?”

Aiden looked down at their guest and nodded. “He's a big one, better make it two.” A group was dispatched to go fishing, bring back some for the caravan and at least two whole fish for the Bear. Even if he wasn't underfed, he'd probably polish off a large meal anyway, best to be prepared.

It didn't take long for the Bear to wake, hand going for his knife. “Calm down,” Guxart said. “No harm will come to you here. Any injuries we missed?”

His free hand instantly went to the back of his head and came away red. “Fuck.” They took care of that too, patching to Bear up, showing him they could be trusted. Finally, he grumbled his name, “Grayson.”

Curious eyes the color of sunstones—a little different than his own topaz hues—looked him over, lingering on his hair, messy from his fall. “You don't look very gray,” one of the younger Cats said.

Grayson ran a nervous hand through his hair, still dark black, not grizzled and gray like many of his elders. It was only his second season on The Path, he was still a cub... but he had to learn to be on his own now, that was the way of things. He shifted away from the Cats only to have them move in closer, enraptured gazes following his every movement, giving little care for the hand still clutching a dagger. Well, other Witchers would be able to fend him off, especially a whole group against one.

“My apologies for them,” Guxart said, batting the younger kits away. “We don't get many visitors. Food should be here soon. Sent a group fishing.”

The words were no sooner out of his mouth than the group returned, nets filled with fish suspended between them. Joël and Gaetan—some of the younger members of the school—bound over and placed two large salmon in front of Grayson, smiles stretched across their faces. “Your favorite, right?” Gaetan asked.

“It was just a guess, but we figured...” Joël said.

Grayson nodded, picking up the two whole, _raw_ fish he'd been presented. Perhaps Cats let everyone do their own cooking? “My pack?” Reunited with his supplies, Grayson went off to his own corner of the camp and started cleaning the fish, cooking them over a small fire.

Aiden frowned when he saw the Bear _cooking_ the fish. Surely he'd want it raw? Picking up on his confusion, Guxart shrugged. “We know first hand what the mutations have done to us. Perhaps he's shy around others, doesn't want to draw too much attention to it.”

True, the School of the Cat did have the lion's share of unfortunate mutation side effects: a fascination with birds and most other flying things; the urge to lick friends and lovers clean; the bubbling, chirping sound the younger members couldn't help but make before a kill; and of course, the violent mood swings. It was a pot of shit any way you looked at it and they definitely understood wanting to keep those sorts of things under wraps.

Grayson left the next morning, the food and rest doing him a world of good. He grumbled his thanks to Guxart and Treyse before heading out. A few other Cats followed him to the edge of the forest, making sure he found the road safely. They'd never had a guest before and were sad to see him go so soon.

A few years later, more gray in his hair but not his glorious beard, Grayson crossed the caravan's path again and accepted their invitation for a meal. Again, they went fishing and presented him with two whole, raw fish. Huffing out a rare laugh, Grayson looked across the fire at the assembled Cats. “My school, we don't actually eat our fish raw. Or whole. And there is more than enough here to share.”

“Hmm, alright, if that's the way you prefer it,” Aiden said, and stoked the cooking fire.

They cooked the fish and had a nice meal, but Aiden kept a close eye on the Bear for the rest of the night, making sure he wasn't sacrificing his health or pleasures for modesty's sake. If he wasn't ready to expose the weird side effects in front of a different school, then they wouldn't push.

2\. School of the Griffin

A Griffin came to stay once, or rather, was camping in the woods nearby and Gaetan spotted him when he was scouting. “I mean you no harm,” he called towards the bushes where Gaetan was hiding. “I can move my camp, if necessary, there is no need for us to fight...” His own sickly yellow-green eyes lit up when Gaetan poked out enough to expose himself as a Witcher. “Ah! Hail, brethren! My name is Coën, School of the Griffin.” He bowed, not low enough to completely take his attention away from an unknown Witcher, but enough to show respect. _No one_ showed Cats respect.

Normally, Gaetan would be quite taken with the gesture, but instead his eyes followed the flash of light on the forest floor, a reflection from the Griffin's shiny armor. The need to chase it welled up within him, and he pushed it down. _Oh, I have to take this one back, the kits will go nuts!_ he thought to himself.

Coën graciously accepted his invitation to break bread with the caravan. “Safety in numbers, I've already dispatched several bandits on my way here.” Gaetan led him back to the caravan, eyes following the reflection from his armor the whole way there. Everyone was very excited when Gaetan returned with a new friend, especially one who was actually happy to see them. Falling in next to Aiden, he nudged him and smirked, pleased with himself.

They continued on for a bit, finding a better spot closer to the river for bathing, and Aiden's eyes lit up when he saw a giant tree on the opposite side of the small grove they stopped in. “Hey! That would be perfect! He's a Griffin, right? Griffins are part bird. He'll probably want to sleep in the tree.”

It was a good tree, so good in fact another Cat had already claimed it, laying on one of the thick branches with their arms and legs hanging down. “Hey!” Aiden hissed. One sleepy eye opened and glared down at him. “Help set up the camp.” The Cat snarled at them, then flopped down to the ground. As he retreated back to the caravan, Aiden hissed again for good measure. “Lazy... alright, what makes a good nest?”

First, Gaetan suggested they climb the tree, just to make sure it was good enough. It had thick branches and a good fork in the middle, perfect for leaning back and stretching. Cats loved a good tree and they were a little sad they couldn't have it, but their guest might be more comfortable there, they'd give it up to be good hosts. They went back to the caravan, raiding their wagon for a few blankets and a large cushion they knew Guxart had (the old man would never notice it was gone).

As they went back and forth to the tree to build the nest, they notice Coën helping around camp, his shiny armor throwing small sunbeams all over. He had quite a group of younger Cats following him, jumping at a spot of light before it moved away. Gaetan sighed, he wanted to go play too... but the nest was looking pretty good. There were three branches half way up that formed a natural seat. Once they placed the cushion, they lay one blanket over it and the branches before adding the others. It didn't have the rigid sides like an actual bird's nest, but it looked damn comfortable.

By the time they were done, night was starting to fall and the smells of food drifted over. There was a collective “Aw!” from the group that had been following Coën around when he finally took off his armor.

He smiled, nodding knowingly. “I also like the shine of it.”

With the caravan settled, most chores completed, and everyone starting to unwind for the night, Aiden and Gaetan bounded over to Coën, shoving in front of each other as they went, they both wanted to be the one to show off their masterpiece. A little smaller and faster, Gaetan muscled in front of Aiden. “Coën! Follow us, we have something for you.”

A kind smile mostly hidden by his long beard spread across his face. “Lead on,” he said to the young Cats.

He followed them across the grove where they stopped in front of the tree, pointing up at the nest, both of them grinning ear to ear. “Griffins have nests, right? We should know, had enough griffin contracts over the years. So we made you a nest. Now you can sleep comfortably tonight.”

Coën opened his mouth, but no words came out for a moment. He looked upon the two eager, so fucking earnest faces. While his normal system of values told him never to spurn a gift, sleeping in a tree was... less than comfortable. He'd looked forward to spending a night surrounded by other Witchers, all of them safe and cozy together. Coën took a breath and thought about how to let them down gently.

“This is very thoughtful of you, and I do appreciate it.” He gave them a bow, to drive home his sincerity. “We can sleep in trees, but that's more for safety. When I need to sleep but the area isn't clear of bandits. What I'd prefer—that is, what Griffins prefer—is, uh...” Here his grand words failed him. All the schools had closely guarded secrets, customs and such, the Griffins didn't like to hide anything, it was dishonorable to lie (even a lie by omission) but they didn't like to broadcast potential weaknesses. Yet, the Cat School invited him into their home, showed him trust. He could show them trust as well. “We like to roost. At night, when there are many of us together, we roost.”

“Roost,” Aiden repeated. Cats were very familiar with birds, they liked to chase them, usually scaring them from whatever perch they'd been on, so maybe Cats didn't know much about birds at rest... “Alright, that's... we can do that. What is it?” He and Gaetan leaned in close, ready to help their guest.

Fully committed to spending the night with the Cat caravan, Coën banished his embarrassment. “We sit close together, sleep close together, so we share body heat. Usually in a small space or room. Four or five of us might share a bedroom at Kaer Seren in the winter.” His eyes flicked to one of the caravan wagons, the large side door open, exposing blankets and pillows for sleeping. They had some tents, or others liked to sleep under the stars, but the two sleeping wagons were always cozy. “I'd like to sleep in there, if there's room for me.”

“Of course!” Aiden said.

“You can sleep with us, in our wagon.” Gaetan hooked an arm around Coën's elbow and turned him towards the second sleeping wagon, where most of the younger Cats slept. The big one was mostly for Treyse, Guxart and the other elders (the ones they stole most of the blankets from for the nest they now had to pull down). And sure, Gaetan mostly slept under the stars, but he liked Coën, he wanted to help make him as comfortable as possible.

“Thank you.” Coën gave another deep bow. “I'll help you get the, uh, the nest back down.”

They returned the blankets and the big cushion to their rightful places, getting a glare from Guxart, then settled in around the fire for dinner. Coën sat in the middle of a fallen log, and Aiden and Gaetan wasted no time squishing in next to him. Sure, their elbows jostled and poked when they ate, but the Griffin needed to roost, so they'd roost with him.

“Let us know if we're doing anything wrong,” Aiden said.

Coën opened his mouth a few times to explain roosting was a _sleeping_ activity, not required at dinner, but they were so pleased with themselves, rubbing against him, purring softly... he could let them get a little carried away.

When the night grew late and everyone started drifting off to bed, Coën almost offered to take the first night watch, but found himself pinned between Gaetan and Aiden once again. “How many do you need to roost? Four? We can find someone else.”

Coën ended up pressed between Aiden and Gaetan, with three other Cats sharing their sleeping quarters. One of the others tried to lay on top of him—the Griffin was larger than most of the Cats, more body heat to warm them—but Aiden hissed until they withdrew, snuggling in at the other side of the wagon. Calm restored once again, Coën closed his eyes and felt his body relax. Surrounded by Cats, none of his school even remotely nearby, he still felt safe. It was that bone deep safety he only got in winter, several other Griffins gathered around him, cooing softly as they slipped off to sleep.

Far from his home, Coën still managed to find peace that night. Maybe the Cats weren't as bad as everyone thought.

3\. School of the Manticore

Treyse looked about to tan the scouting party's hides when the crack of a branch alerted them to the presence of another near their camp. A human, the branch was broken deliberately, no animal's careless step. The entire school snapped to their feet.

“Alright! Show yourself!” Guxart called, hand hovering close to the dagger on his belt. He was older, more experienced than others, he knew the blade would be in his hand when he needed it, while some of the younger Cats already had their steel to hand.

The bushes parted and a woman appeared, her skin dark, reflecting the warmth of the setting sun, her long braids cascading over her shoulders. Eyes the color of the sun sparkled at them as she lifted her chin, as if to look down on them. The whole image shattered when a shiver shook her entire body and her fingers twitched to grab the grubby blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

“I do not wish you harm,” she managed to get out. “I would like to share your fire.” After a beat, she added, “Please.”

Once they weighed the risk (and scolded the scouting party for not noticing another fucking Witcher wandering in the area) Guxart invited her to share the fire, which they built extra high to provide warmth for their southern guest. “We don't mind guests,” he told her. “We just like to know they're coming.”

“Understandable.” Though the fire roared in front of her, she did not relinquish her blanket, still shivering. Gaetan, finished with his chores, grabbed one of his own blankets from his sleeping wagon and offered it to the Manticore. She looked at it for a long moment before wrapping herself up. “Thank you,” she said.

Pleased with himself, Gaetan smiled and sat down by the fire to warm his own chilly bones. “You're welcome. Never seen your kind this far north.”

She groaned out her displeasure. “There is a reason for that.”

The Manticore soon thawed out and started making conversation, told them her name— “Ixora,” —and listened to their stories.

Aiden set out with the hunting party and squeaked when he saw Gaetan sitting so close to the Manticore. “Gaetan!” he hissed. “Come here!”

The other Cat grumbled at having to go away from the fire, but crossed the camp to Aiden's side. “What?”

“Don't sit so close, idiot. Manticores are man eaters.” He grabbed Gaetan and pulled him towards where the rest of the hunters were cleaning their dinner and gestured with the hand holding the game noose full of pheasant. “Why do you think I went out of my way to get male birds? Gotta have something to sate that need.”

Gaetan frowned but helped Aiden clean the birds, keeping them separate from the rest of the hunt like Aiden wanted. “That's not true. She's been fine so far. And Witchers eating people, what kind of stupid human propaganda have you been reading?”

Aiden rolled his eyes, then smacked Gaetan upside the head for good measure. “Yes, and School of the Cat doesn't have any bullshit about it, no, we don't chase birds or have mood swings on the fly like actual cats, no...”

“Hmm, alright I see your point.” So Gaetan shut up and helped Aiden prepare the meal for Ixora.

When they presented it to her at the fire, she nodded her thanks and bit into the well seasoned birds. “Made sure you got male ones,” Aiden said. “Because, you know...” Understanding the quirks of other Witchers was one thing, drawing attention to them was completely another, and Aiden tried to be sensitive.

The fork paused halfway to her mouth before she chuckled. “Ah, I see. No, School of the Manticore, we aren't man eaters in the literal sense. It's more that, our trials tend to favor females more, thus our school has a high population of women.” Her eyes drifted across the clearing to where some of the female Cats were airing out the sleeping wagons for the night. “In fact, I thought we were the only school that trained women at all.”

Gaetan shook his head. “Nope, we do too.”

“Hmm, very interesting.” Her eyes widened just a touch and she went back to her dinner.

A little more assured that Mantocores didn't actually eat men, Aiden went about his night, talking and laughing with the others. When they headed to sleep, he didn't see Ixora anywhere. “Hey,” he called to Gaetan as the other Cat worked on pitching their tent. “Where's Ixora?”

“Saw her with Dragonfly and some of the other girls.”

“Huh.” They both shrugged and continued bedding down.

The next morning, the Manticore left their company, but not before giving one last deep kiss to basically every woman in the caravan...

4\. School of the Viper

Aiden started it, so he had to expect Gaetan (the one who was always at his side, the same class, the same age, but Aiden was always so fucking protective of him) would also go out and find himself a mate. At least Aiden bagged a Wolf, Gaetan's new mate was... well, he was a fucking _Viper_.

Aiden remembered hunting snakes in the tall grass when they were in training, sharpening their reflexes to dart after the quick little serpents. Letho was not little. In fact, he was the exact opposite of little, arms like pythons, flat snake eyes that betrayed no emotion... until he looked at Gaetan. As soon as Letho set eyes on the runty Cat, the smallest of them all, Aiden could see that big heart melting.

Alright, maybe he could stay...

“We're tryin' to get south,” Gaetan said, perched across Letho's lap at dinner the first night. “Knew we were crossing the caravan, thought we might travel together for a while.”

Gaetan wasn't a kit anymore, and neither was Aiden, they both took time away from the caravan each year, walking The Path by themselves. That's how he met Lambert, the scruffy Wolf he crossed paths with on a contract and fell madly, desperately in love with two seconds later. Heightened emotions were a bitch, but nothing beat love at first sight, the passion of it, the all consuming conviction that this person was now your person, forever. It took Lambert a little longer to warm to him, but eventually, he pulled Aiden into bed and had his wolfy way with him (but more on that _later_ ).

Gaetan fit under Letho's arm like they were molded to fit together, the tiny Cat relaxing against his side, licking and nuzzling when it pleased him, sliding his cheeks across Letho's shoulder to mark him as 'property of Gaetan.' They turned around and Aiden caught a glimpse of Letho's hand on Gaetan's ass... one hand, covered his whole ass. Fuck, why was he so big? What was the use of being that big? Letho's shoulders alone must strain the structural integrity of most door frames. Actually, now that Aiden thought about it, Grayson was on the large side too... still, unnecessary.

But Gaetan's eyes were so soft and open when he looked at Letho. Aiden heard him purring from across the caravan, his eyes blinking slowly. Fuck, guess he had to actually be nice to the Viper.

They made camp for the night and Letho helped out without a fuss, watering the horses, collecting fire wood, pitching tents (though by the way Aiden saw him looking at Gaetan, the Viper would probably rather pitch another sort of tent). When they sat down for dinner, Gaetan fell into his lap, rubbing their noses together before eating off Letho's fucking plate. Aiden swallowed down the snarky insults that sprang to his tongue, he knew he was just as much of a sap with Lambert, and Gaetan deserved some happiness.

Gaetan didn't leave Letho's lap all night, wrapped around him, holding him to keep warm. Letho wrapped around Gaetan too, but it looked tighter, more of a constriction kind of hold, but Gaetan seemed to like it. Aiden ignored them when he saw them kissing out of the corner of his eye, moving closer to Guxart. Their tongues tangled together and the kiss went on and on, growing more heated by the minute. Gaetan's cheeks were flushed from the fire, but the Viper was still a little pale. One large hand rubbed up Gaetan's thigh while the other squeezed him in close.

The moment they parted for Gaetan to take a piss, Aiden got up and followed him. “Your Viper looks pale,” he said. “Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he gets cold. That's why we're headed south.”

“Hmm...” Aiden turned and looked at Letho again, the way he inched closer to the fire now that Gaetan was no longer spread across him, sharing his warmth. “You two should sleep in a wagon tonight, I'll go pinch as many blankets as I can.”

“Good idea.” Gaetan nodded. “See how many others you can get to snuggle in with us. He's big, hard for me to cover by myself.”

The plan set, Aiden walked back to the fire and finished his dinner. Letho was Gaetan's mate, he would be nice to him, keep the fucker warm at night so he didn't freeze. No matter how much he didn't trust the Viper with sweet, murderous Gaetan, Aiden would rather tolerate him than see Gaetan upset at his loss to the cold of all stupid things.

Gaetan came back a second later and dropped into Letho's lap, shimmying happily when an arm snaked around his hips. “Missed you,” Letho rumbled.

They finished dinner and the games started, Cats chasing each other around, laughing, singing. Letho kept his hold on Gaetan but tapped his foot along with the beat of a song being sung around one of the other fires. He held so tight to Gaetan, kissing, rubbing, trying to get warmth from him. Gaetan was happy to give it and made sure every part of him was touching Letho at all times, but Letho was a big Witcher and he could never hope to do it all.

When the camp started turning in for the night, Letho rose, pulling Gaetan into his arms for a squeeze before depositing him on the ground. Scowling, Gaetan immediately grabbed his hand again and attached himself to Letho's side. “C'mon, sleeping wagon's over there.”

Letho's brow furrowed. “We have a tent. I set it up already.” Though he enjoyed the company of the School of the Cat (a little like his own school, much less righteous and sanctimonious, like those fucking Wolves could get) Letho had plans. Naked kind of plans. After a day of Gaetan constantly touching him, he wanted to pin the bastard to the ground and feel those strong, lithe legs crushing the breath out of him. Gaetan was a spitfire in bed, all moans and hisses, arching up to get more, more, more, and Letho was addicted to it. After a whole day of work, he wanted their alone time.

Gaetan shook his head and pulled Letho towards the wagon. “It's warmer.”

Heaving a sigh, Letho followed him to the wagon and found three Cats already crammed in, including Aiden still fussing with the pillows. “Get in, big guy in the middle.”

The two other Cats (mostly asleep) groaned and flopped over, leaving barely enough room for Letho to squeeze in. He lay down on the surprisingly comfortable furs and lifted one arm for Gaetan to slide under. It was their preferred sleeping position, Gaetan across Letho's chest, a rumbling purr vibrating through them both. If they weren't going to have sex tonight, this was as good a consolation prize as any.

Gaetan did flop down on top of Letho like normal—licking his neck and nuzzling a little before pillowing his head across one massive pectoral—but then so did Aiden, falling in on his other side, mostly on top of Letho. Then the other two moved in, one laying across Letho's legs before settling. Fuck, Letho was hoping for a quick midnight hand job while everyone else was asleep, but they were sleeping _on_ him, providing no escape.

 _What the fuck_.

Four different purrs filled the wagon as the Cats enjoyed Letho's warmth. He sighed, thinking back over the day: all the times someone got too close, close enough to press against his back and sigh happily before returning to their own task, or when Guxart grabbed Letho's hands in his for a moment, massaging his fingers before nodding to himself and walking away. While Letho had no personal experience with real cats, he recognized these little oddities as attempts to take the warmth from his skin. He and Gaetan discussed the fucky things the mutations did to Cat Witchers, he knew they were closer aligned with their animal of choice than all the other schools. If they wanted him to keep them warm, all they had to do was ask.

Letho shifted, nudging Gaetan. “Babe, you guys don't have to do this. I got spare blankets in my pack, you don't need to huddle around me for warmth.”

Both Gaetan and Aiden lifted their heads, but the other Cats clung tighter to Letho, like he was about to escape. “What are you talking about?” Gaetan asked. “We're keeping _you_ warm.”

“Yeah, snakes are cold blooded,” Aiden said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Don't want you freezing in the night. We'll get you two south and it'll be better, for now, we don't mind shoving in close.”

Letho was... at a loss for words. Gaetan thought—after all this time, all they'd done together—that Letho was literally cold blooded, like an actual snake. Aiden's misconception made some sort of sense, they weren't traveling closely together long enough to discuss deep, personal hang ups. But Gaetan—fucking Gaetan—had held Letho's cock! Felt the heat of it, the blood pumping under his skin, how warm he was. _Gaetan, how are you this stupid_ , is what Letho did not say. Cats had weird mutations, maybe they expected the same of all the other Witcher schools as well.

He took a breath, squeezing Gaetan closer. “I'm—I'm not actually cold blooded.” _Don't you know that?_ he did not say, he was too tired for this and it was... alright, it was actually kind of sweet, Gaetan and his family wanting to help keep Letho warm.

Yellow eyes narrowed and Gaetan glared down at him, a little suspect. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Hmm.” There was a small grumble from Gaetan and Aiden and they looked at the others they roped in to keep Letho warm. “Do you want us to stop?”

Sitting there on the overly comfortable nest of pillows, blankets, and furs, Letho was actually really enjoying himself. His ass hadn't been that comfortable in a long time, and the Cat laying across his legs was warm, the perfect contrast to the rapidly cooling night air around them. With Aiden on one side, Gaetan plastered against him it was... nice.

Letho wiggled a little, getting even more comfortable, then, in a small voice, whispered, “No. They can stay.”

The small frown on Gaetan's lips disappeared in favor of a wide smile. He nosed at Letho's jaw again and settled back down for sleep. “Good.”

Letho drifted off, four purring Cats surrounding him. Alright, maybe it was better like this. He could always fuck Gaetan tomorrow.

5\. School of the Wolf

Alright, Aiden would admit that he was a little disappointed when he found out Lambert didn't actually have a knot. Their sex was amazing, mind blowing, from the very first moment they laid eyes on each other, Aiden knew there were fucking _sparks_ between them. Lambert's cock was thick and long, and filled him just right, even without the wolfy knot.

Then he made the mistake of mentioning it, slightly ruining the afterglow. Lambert's eyes shot open. “What? Seriously, what did you just say?”

Aiden shrugged. “Thought you might have a knot, is all. School of the Wolf...”

If possible, Lambert's mouth dropped open even more. “Aiden, that's—you've seen me naked before tonight! We bathed together in a stream two days ago. You've seen my cock! And you still thought...? Fuck.” Shaking his head, Lambert relaxed back into the bed. “And that's not how the mutagens work. Fuck, Aiden.” But Lambert was still smiling. “You're lucky I love your idiot ass.”

Frowning, Aiden opened his mouth to argue, only to have Lambert swoop in for another kiss, which worked to distract him very well indeed.

But Lambert's lack of actual wolf traits got Aiden thinking. He knew how much the mutations fucked them up, every Cat had their share of horror stories of when they started chasing a magistrate's pet bird in the middle of a conversation, or when the need to run, run, _fucking run_ , overtook them, the energy coiled in their muscles too great for their bodies to handle for another second; they all had shit to deal with, but over the years, it looked like the other schools... kind of didn't.

The very few times the caravan managed to pull information out of Grayson (their paths crossed at least once more while Aiden was with them, and the normally quiet Bear greeted them with a small smile) their peculiarities had to do with their training. “Cubs are very important,” he grumbled over a plate of perfect cooked salmon that he caught and then shared with the caravan. “The Witcher who claims you is as close to a father as you'll ever have. My mentor was called Gray Bear, an elder, a sign of respect.” He nodded up towards his own salt and pepper hair. “The moment I crossed the gates of Haern Caduch, I was dubbed Gray's first son. Over the years, it became Grayson. I don't remember my true name, Grayson is as good as any.”

His eyes grew distant, staring into the fire for a long moment. “Cubs are protected, trained well to survive the world and The Path we all must walk. As a fully capable Witcher, we're supposed to be solitary. Alone. Trust no one.” A small sparkle entered his eye and he glanced at Aiden and the rest of the assembled Cats. “And yet I go and start trusting fucking Cats.”

Coën mentioned mild symptoms as well after he watched some younger Cats chase the shine from his armor all afternoon. “We roost, as you already know, and the armor—” he looked down, smiling at his own reflection in his pauldron, eyes getting a little distant for the moment. “I've heard the other schools think we're playing at being knights. We value some of the same things, it is true, but we don't delude ourselves to think humans would give us that sort of respect. We're taught to maintain our armor well, as it is the line between us and death. And sometimes...” his voice went soft and Aiden leaned in to hear, “sometimes it's nice to see a friendly face reflected back. Even if it's you own.”

Though Ixora never properly admitted to it, she had a few things in common with the School of the Cat: her enjoyment of warmth, for one, and the tendency to lay in a sunbeam and fall asleep. But again, that was fucking _mild_ compared to what Aiden himself had experienced from life. Then there was Letho and his claim that he definitely wasn't cold blooded, now Lambert saying Wolves didn't have any physical reflections of actual wolves. Once again, it looked like the Cats had drawn the mutagen short straw. All the emotions in the world, coupled with strange urges hardly anyone could resist. Yup, they definitely had the short end of that stick.

The more he thought about it, the more unfair it seemed. Why were Cats the odd man out? Why didn't the Wolves, or the fucking Vipers, have anything wrong with them? Gaetan and Letho were still stupidly in love, and Gaetan hadn't reported any other snakey things, short of “he gets tired after a big meal,” which, who fucking didn't?

Desperate for some small shred of nonsense, Aiden curled tight around Lambert, mumbling, “So there's nothing? No bullshit the mages bred into you for kicks and giggles?”

A wide, warm hand petted down over his back and Lambert shrugged. “Geralt and Eskel are big fuckers, Cats are usually smaller, built for a different kind of fighting. And we have...” he bit his lip, sighing softly. “We have a more... pack mentality. I know you travel with the caravan for safety and convenience, if you had that same guarantee of safety when you were on your own, would you go back to them every year?”

Aiden took a moment to think, then shrugged. “I don't know, maybe not. I have friends there, but I am good on my own.” _Except when it comes to Lambert_ , the love sick voice in the back of his head reminded him.

“Right, for me, I have to go every winter. I fucking hate the cold, hate the mountain, hate that place more than I ever thought possible. But my pack is there and I want to see them. I _need_ to see them, make sure they're still alive.” Lambert rolled over, putting himself fully on top of Aiden and pulling them in close, his nose sliding down the curve of his neck. “There are good things too, sexy things. Like the, uh, _baths_ you showed me.”

“Oh yeah, mmm, that was a nice night.” Aiden remembered how wide Lambert's eyes got when he offered to give him a bath, then promptly started licking him from head to toe.

At first he wiggled, “Aiden, okay joke's over...” then he giggled, “s-stop, that tickles!” then he moaned when Aiden's very talented tongue swept over his balls. “Uh, fuck, yes please. Aiden, your mouth—fuck...”

Hands balled into the sheets as Aiden licked his whole sac before moving up the shaft. He didn't suck, this wasn't a blow job, it was a bath. Sure, his nose might brush over the thick, pulsing vein before licking around the crown of the head, lapping at salty precome. “Turn over,” Aiden hummed into his skin. Lambert was like a hunk of wet dough and it took a minute for him to comply. Then Aiden put his tongue to use underneath the fatty swell of Lambert's ass—the area rarely touched, incredibly sensitive—and Lambert started thrusting into the bed sheets, working himself into a frenzy just as Aiden's tongue lapped over his hole. A good night indeed.

“Right,” Aiden said as he pulled his mind out of the blissful memory, adjusting his suddenly hard cock under the blankets. “We should do that again soon. Tell me about these sexy things.”

Lambert's bastard smirk slid into place. “Well, we lick too, but not for bathing—though I still think you were lying about that—it's more a show of affection.” To demonstrate, Lambert licked a stripe from Aiden's nipple to his neck before biting down on his shoulder, sucking the skin red before pulling back. “And we nibble, bite, all playful and nice, I swear. Then there's sniffing.” That same nose slid up his neck again, accompanied by a great whoosh of breath. “Mmm, you know how I like sticking my face next to your cock before I suck it?”

“Yes.”

“That's me getting your smell. It's more potent there. I love it.” Lambert continued to snuffle and sniff, licking a little as he went until he finally got to Aiden's lips. “And then there's, well, uh...” The playful smirk fell away and Lambert's eyes went serious. “There's the kissing thing. When I see my brothers after a year away, we... it's more licking, really...”

“You kiss your brothers?” Brother's in arms, yeah, yeah, Aiden knew all that, but the School of the Wolf had a much tighter bond that others, making it more like a family. He thought back to the years he hadn't seen Gaetan for a while, feared the little fucker dead, then planted one on his lips out of sheer relief. “Yeah, I guess I kind of get that.” Wiggling his hips, Aiden tried to pull Lambert out of the serious thoughts rolling in (it was the dent between his eyebrows, he could always tell when Lambert was about to get lost in his own mind). “Can I get one of these kisses? Just to see if I'm comfortable with you and your brothers sharing—”

In the blink of an eye, Lambert had his lips fully sealed over Aiden's, his tongue moving deeper than it ever had before. He was right, this wasn't a kiss, but some sort of deep examination in which Lambert's tongue tried to lick every single part of Aiden's mouth. Over his teeth, under his lips, across his tongue... The spit that welled up between them started to gather at the corners of his mouth before Lambert licked that away, tongue pushing in deeper. Their noses bumped awkwardly but it was still somehow sexy, because it was Lambert, and he was a sexy bastard. Hands on his hips held him in place and all Aiden could do was try to push against him, getting friction on his sorely neglected cock.

When Lambert finally pulled away, Aiden had to gasp for air. “Fuck, wow... you do that every year?”

Lambert nodded. “Lets me know if they're healthy, I can't explain how, I just know. You're a little dehydrated, by the way, we should find a stream tomorrow, top up our water skins.”

Aiden blinked. “Alright, yeah, we can do that.” Alright, so maybe Wolves had slightly odd mutations, but it was nowhere near as bad as School of the Cat. Now there was Aiden's hard cock to deal with, and Lambert's own erection pressing into the bend of his thigh. He wiggled again, pulling a growl from Lambert. “Any other _sexy_ Wolf things? You've never asked to mount me, but I think that can be arranged.”

“As tempting as that is, would you let me, uh...” Lambert went demure again, voice dropping.

He tried to look down, but Aiden caught his chin, yellow-green eyes burning into gold. “You can tell me. I know the weird shit now, remember? Nothing left unsaid between us.”

Lambert dipped down to kiss his neck before rubbing against him again, hips rolling. “Right. Do you mind if... I'd like to smell you. I'd really, really like to smell you. It's... I don't know how to describe it. It's comforting, to know I can always follow your scent across the world.”

Aiden knew if he opened his mouth to say anything, he'd make an embarrassing sound not unlike a coo. He nodded instead and lay back, spreading his legs, opening himself up for Lambert to smell to his heart's content.

He wasted no time, sliding down Aiden's body and starting at his torso, pushing his nose under his arms and taking deep breaths, inhaling what must be sweaty and musky after a day's travel, but if Lambert liked it... Aiden tried not to squirm and let Lambert do as he pleased. He slid down to his stomach next, nose running over the thin trail of hair below his belly button, the trail that got thicker and darker the closer it got to his cock, and soon enough, Lambert would be—

“Ah! Fuck!” Aiden hissed. Lambert's nose was _in_ his balls, rubbing at the seam down the middle before sliding over to the sides, pushing into the small crease between thigh and ballsack. A warm tongue lapped over the skin before Lambert's nose was back, taking deep draws of air, getting Aiden's scent.

Aiden was shaking apart, Lambert hadn't even sucked his cock yet and he felt like he was about to blow. He'd had Lambert's face next to his cock before, but there was something about the pure bliss written across his handsome face, the way his eyes closed and his breathing slowed, as if he wanted to savor the smell of Aiden for as long as possible. Threading his hands through his hair, Aiden started scratching and stroking the way he knew Lambert liked; he didn't have words to explain how intimate this was, how he suddenly felt like the center of Lambert's everything, so all he could do was pet his Wolf and hope it was enough to show that he felt the same.

Soon enough though, that tongue started to join, slow at first, licking every patch of skin Lambert wanted to sniff. Then there was more tongue, until— “Lambert!” Aiden arched as he licked a hot streak up his cock. As soon as his hips hit the bed again, Lambert swallowed him whole, hands holding tight to Aiden's hips to keep him still. The tongue that had explored his mouth so very thoroughly a few moments ago now flicked across his slit before going flat, licking up his cock.

Cheeks hollowed as Lambert sucked, moaning like he was the one getting a blow job. Aiden couldn't hold on, he was already so close, and one strong suck from Lambert pushed him over. Greedy lips pressed tight against his shaft, making sure not a single drop of spend escaped as Lambert drank him down before placing Aiden gently onto the bed, lips kissing rapidly rising bruises. They'd be gone in a bit and Aiden smiled down at the perfect finger imprints on his hips.

“Mmm, thank you.”

“No problem.” Another small kiss. “Didn't mean to hold you so hard, but it felt like you were trying to buck me off.”

“That was your fault for getting me going with the fucking sniffing. That has no right to be so hot.”

Resting his cheek against Aiden's hip, Lambert looked up at him, eyes still hungry. He'd always be hungry for Aiden, and the feeling was definitely mutual. “You still up for it?” Aiden nodded, he was up for more sex, speaking however might have to wait until morning. The pleasant fuzz inside his head was wonderful to listen to with Lambert's warmth pressed against him. “Right, so... That mounting you offered earlier.”

Aiden didn't hesitate to roll up onto his hands and knees, presenting his ass for Lambert's pleasure. “Take me, however you want,” he whispered. “All for you tonight.”

“Yes,” Lambert hissed. The same wide hand that squeezed him so tight, his skin bruised, now brushed across his ass with all the reverence of a priest handling the relic of their god. “Thank you,” he whispered, then got about to fucking Aiden stupid.

+1. Kaer Morhen

The trip up to Kaer Morhen sucked. There was no two ways about it. Knowing how much Lambert hated the cold, Aiden decided he was telling the truth about the pack thing: only the deep, necessary need to see his brothers would draw him up this hellish climb. Aiden was looking forward to a fire and a bed, preferably in that order.

When the still standing tower came into view, relief flooded through him, followed quickly by a tinge of awkwardness. “Ah, I remember what you said, about the kissing? If you need me to, I will let your brothers, uh, do that. With me. If you need.” Aiden had heard stories of Eskel and Geralt, and a few about Vesemir, but he wasn't going to volunteer to kiss a man who was—essentially—Lambert's father. The brothers though, that would be... fine.

“What? No, you don't have to do that. You're not part of the pack.” He dropped his voice, moving closer to Aiden, or as close as he dared on the narrow path. “You're part of me. So don't worry, if I like you, they'll like you.” They trekked on, reaching the keep just before nightfall. As Lambert warned, both Eskel and Geralt ran at him, giving deep, exploring kisses that just went on... and on... and on...

Aiden's mouth fell open, trying to figure out how they were going that long and still finding new things to learn about Lambert. They ate hard biscuits and drank freezing water the whole way up, what other information could they learn? He saw Geralt wrap an arm around Lambert's back, large hand settling on the small of his back, and felt a growl burble up inside him.

Before he could do anything he'd (probably) regret, a human stepped in front of him. “Hello! I'm Jaskier, Geralt's bard. I stay with Geralt and Eskel during the winters. You must be Aiden, Lambert hasn't stopped talking about you for years, and I'm so glad to finally meet you!”

He said this all in one breath, and by the time he was done, Geralt and Lambert broke apart, letting Eskel through for a similarly deep kiss. Aiden decided not to look, it wasn't about sex, it was a pack thing, or whatever. “Good to meet you too. Lambert mentioned a bard.”

“And I am he.” Turning, he sighed at the sight in front of them both. “Don't worry, it put me off at first, but Geralt and Eskel are very well occupied, and now Lambert has you. This winter will be good fun. Here are your ear plugs.”

Aiden blinked down to the two tufts of cotton with a bit of wax in Jaskier's hand. “Ear plugs?”

He didn't take them and Jaskier actually opened Aiden's hand to _make_ him take them. “Trust me.” And with that, he floated away, over to the three Wolves who were now done making out. “Come on now, we must keep our new guest warm.”

Bounding over, Lambert grabbed Aiden's wrist, dragging him into the great hall. “Let's warm up.”

Lambert told him about this too, another pack thing, laying together in front of the fire. Cats had a similar arrangement when they were cold, but this seemed more like... snuggling. Jaskier was in the middle between Geralt and Eskel, already looking snug and warm and completely blissed out. Lambert shoved Aiden down against Geralt's back before spooning around him, all of them together in front of the fire. Three deep sighs and one a little more musical met Aiden's ears. Alright, this was good, part of that pack thing Lambert mentioned. Still nowhere near as weird as what he had to deal with, but it was nice, he could get used to this.

Later that night, Aiden woke to a deafening howling noise loud enough to rattle the windows. “What? What the fuck?” It sounded like a whole pack of wolves had broken into the courtyard, howling right under their fucking window. “Lambert, what's going—” Aiden reached out to find Lambert and met empty air instead, the sheets still warm where they'd fallen asleep together just a few hours ago.

His stomach clenched as he groped for a weapon, a dagger was closest, and pulled on his clothes. Creeping down the hallway, he almost stabbed Jaskier when the human stuck his head out of a bedroom. “I told you to use the earplugs.”

“What the fuck for? Do wolves invade every year?” That didn't seem safe.

Ducking back into his room, Jaskier emerged in a heavy coat and boots. “Come with me, I'll show you.”

Dagger still in his hand, Aiden followed Jaskier down the stairs, through the great hall and towards the doors. They walked out into the courtyard to see Geralt, Eskel, Lambert, and Vesemir all standing in the middle of the training ground, fucking _howling_ at the sky. Aiden's mouth dropped open at the sight of four grown men howling at the moon. Like this was just a normal thing they did.

Jaskier ran a hand through sleep ruffled hair. “Don't worry, they only do this the first few nights when the pack is back together. Use the ear plugs, they help.”

The waited a few more minutes in the cold, Aiden wanted to go inside, but he couldn't stop staring. Finally, Vesemir stopped first and the others soon after, leaning in and bumping against each other before turning towards the doors. Jaskier clapped his hands. “Alright, back to bed, you look cold, let me warm you up...”

Cooing over Eskel and Geralt, Aiden looked away just in time for Lambert to lean against him. “Sorry if I woke you up,” he mumbled, voice a little quiet after all the noise he was just making.

“Uh, yeah, no problem. Should've worn the ear plugs Jaskier gave me. I will tomorrow night.” With an arm wrapped around Lambert, they tripped back to bed.

 _Alright_ , Aiden thought as they fell asleep, _maybe the Wolves got some weird mutations too_.

**Author's Note:**

> I will compile a list of the cuteagens (at least the basic ones, as my ideas about them are forever shifting) and put it somewhere for posterity, probably on tumblr. The Bear is my OC Grayson, from Cabinet of Curiosities, which I co-wrote with the amazing RawrkinJD, and Ixora is Rawr's OC, also from Cabinet of Curiosities. Thank you to Rawr for letting me use Ixora once again <3 I'm looking forward to using them more in future fics, because I can't get enough of them.


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